Fostering in the news

Learning to play for the first time
Jane and Derek, are long-term foster carers, meaning most of the 18 children they have looked after have stayed with them for a number of years. Some have arrived as children and stayed at Jane and Derek’s smallholding until adulthood and beyond. The couple also have two children of their own, Tom, aged 13, and 12-year-old Amy, who were both babies when the family started fostering 11 years ago.  Jane, aged 39, said: "I finished work when I had Amy and I said to my husband that I really didn't want to go back. I felt that raising children was what I wanted to do. We had two children of our own, and I thought we could take care of more. And that's how it started. "It was a long process, where the authorities made sure that everything was settled in our own family before they allowed us to start fostering.

Generally the children who come to us are about nine or 10, but we have taken in some teenagers.  One girl came to us when she was 10 and she was still with us when she was 20."

While the children may come to stay with the Jane and Derek for a variety of reasons, and some may have been through very difficult experiences, the family try to let them all have a happy childhood.

Jane added: "We try to keep things as normal as possible. Some children arrive here and they've never learnt how to play, because of their situation at home. They're a bit back to front, so when they come to us we let them regress back to childhood and go through all the things children go through.  We've had very good experiences and some wonderful children. Perhaps they've had more difficult experiences, but if you give them the chance they have the same aims as everybody else.  They want to achieve, they want to make the most of themselves."

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Lorraine Fosters Futures
It’s Kids’ Stuff – claims Lorraine
As Stoke-on-Trent City Council launches, a recruitment drive for more -foster carers, a couple talks about looking after scores of children
Lorraine W and her partner Tom have fostered a total of 50 children over the past 10 years.
And while it has often been an emotional rollercoaster, Lorraine says that fostering has been a thoroughly rewarding experience.
Lorraine, aged 40, said: "we thought about it for a while when we helped out with a family situation, where we looked after a relative for a couple of months after which they went back home.  We talked about it, but in the end we never bothered. We thought you had to be a doctor or some sort of professional to do something like this.  But then three years later they were recruiting foster carers through The Sentinel. We went along to an information evening, and it just all went from there. I actually do those information evenings myself now.  When I talk to people in the street and I mention fostering, a lot of them say that it's something they've always wanted to do, but they think they can't either because they work full time, or because they live on their own.  They think that only certain people can be foster carers, and don't know otherwise until I tell them.
It's great just seeing the change in the kids. Sometimes they scream and cling to the door not wanting to come in when they first arrive. They can be terrified, and understandably, because they feel they've been dragged away from home.
But within a day or two they're telling us they want to stay here forever. It does really make you feel fulfilled. We love it."
Lorraine and Tom, of Meir, have three children of their own, one of whom has now left home, and, as they have got older, so have the children they have fostered.
Lorraine added: "One of the first children to come to us was only a baby who we looked after for nine months. At first I thought it would be great, having a baby but without going through all the labour pains.  But then she was crying all the time and it was really difficult. My partner told me we should just tell them we couldn't cope, but I didn't want to do that and make them think I was a failure.  However, within a month she had settled, and nine months later, when she left, I just sobbed and sobbed.
"I said 'never again', I couldn't go through all that again. But then the phone rang and they had a toddler who needed a place quickly. That was one of the first, and there have been some who I have been happy to see the back of, but we have mostly had happy outcomes. Most of the children have been adopted, and some people think that's a shame, but it isn't. Adoption can be the best thing for these children."
Staffordshire Evening Sentinel 13 May 2006

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Seeing them win in life is special

"STEP over that line, come forward, grab those kids and give them what they need." That is the rallying cry to the people of Stoke-on-Trent from prolific foster carer Barbara B, pictured.

The Longton 55-year-old has welcomed city council plans to tackle a shortage of 50 carers and says vast improvements have already been made to support foster parents.

Mrs B said: "We had an open fortnight and when we approached people they would say they had often thought about fostering, but they just don't step over that line - it's so sad.

"Perhaps they think the kids are a pain, but that's not true. The satisfaction of seeing these youngsters achieve things is just unbelievable.

"People think kids in care won't be able to achieve anything, but if that care is good then they will."

With husband Steve, Barbara has looked after more than 70 children in need since she started fostering more than 20 years ago.

She has cared for some youngsters for just a week while others for as long as 17 years.

Some of her placements have been traumatised by family problems or the death of their nearest and dearest, while others are there as a stop-gap for a matter of days.

Mrs B said: "The support has been much better these last 12 months. There's a lot more training.

"I would urge people to think what they would want for their own children - these kids just need someone to spend a bit of time with them."
Staffordshire Evening Sentinel 3 June 2006

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Whether it is day trips to Hanley Forest Park, or ensuring that she has always got a little gift to make a new child feel welcome, Lorraine C is always busy. The foster mother, aged 59, of Hanley, and her husband Keith, aged 62, originally became involved after their daughter, who is now aged 24, wanted a sister or a brother to play with.

"You can't keep having children so someone suggested I thought about fostering," she says.

"We went through the process and that was how it started. We just love it. We really enjoy it. We started off doing short-term work, which could last anything up to 12 months or even longer."

"Now we've been doing it for 16 years. I can't begin to count how many children we have had, because some only stay a couple of days or even just a night. We usually take children up to the age of eight or nine."

"They are usually frightened and worried. We are just as apprehensive as they are in one sense."

"I usually have a gift like some nice crayons and books, I’ve always got things in the draw for if they come in an emergency."
Lorraine has been nominated for Adult Carer of the Year by Judith J, whose daughter Claire, now aged 22, was cared for by Lorraine as a youngster, when no nursery would take her.

The 39-year-old, of Hanley, said: "Claire was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder which causes severe behavioural difficulties."

"I couldn't get her into a private day nursery so she went to Lorraine who was child-minding back then. Lorraine was brilliant with her."

"She is absolutely wonderful with all the children who she cares for.  She never goes out. The children come first all the time and she has never had any recognition."
Over the 16 years she has been fostering, Lorraine estimates she has cared for around 51 children.  She said: "We've had some absolutely beautiful children and I still keep in touch with some of them.  There was a baby I fostered who was adopted when he was six or seven months old, and he still visits me a couple of times a year."

"Letting them go is awful at first, but I know they are going to have a wonderful life, and once I realised that I started to find it easier."
And Lorraine would encourage others to take up fostering, although she admits it is not for everyone.  She said: "But I can't walk away ever now.  I'll have to do it for a lifetime."

Lorraine is a foster carer for Stoke-on-Trent City Council. For more information about fostering, call: 01782 234555.